The lifespace cafe: On the way to love your partner , don’t skip your daily dose of self-love !

being kind to yourself is self-love

It’s always tricky when it comes to love in romantic relationship . Is it really possible to love two persons at a time? Had we ever got a opportunity to share the love with two individuals without feeling guilt or bad ? I understand that Most People don’t come across this way of love story. What if I tell,its not a elite concept but a necessity to bring this to your life,thus consciously creating joy out of the relationship that you have with YOURSELF and your PARTNER .

Yes, I am speaking about self-love and the love you share in a romantic relationship. Precisely the two individuals who’s going to receive your love is YOU and your PARTNER.

Back then in my collage days ,I was single and was experiencing unrequited love. An hopeless romantic . I was referred as a mother of self-love by one of my friend. Many of my classmates, friends told me that they inspire me when they notice myself being positive,independent and in full of self-love. Now I could see its easy for me to love myself well when I was single. After a long journey of finding a partner through dating and its own unsuccessful stories and successful learnings, now I am finally in a committed relationship .

Here I am slowly uncovering a mist in this relationship. On a gloomy day where I felt no desire for this mundane work life as its sucking the energy out of me.Suddenly my inner self is knocking at the doors of my heart and warning me, hey Preethi don’t loose yourself on the way while sharing your love to him. Are your loving yourself as you did before? Show some love to the parts of you that is feeling not good enough or ashamed or guilt or associated with any negative feelings.

Oh yes,it takes courage for me to listen to my holy innerself and admitting that I am slowly loosing the love for myself without my conscience.

Women in relationship:

Generally women have a natural tendency to focus predominantly on nurturing relationship with others by neglecting their self .This comes to the stage in love relationship too. I don’t say I am providing or giving more but I could fairly witness that I am focusing a lot concerning about the “US” things in our relationship.

Meanwhile the self love I talk over here isn’t only about the skin care routine or spa or the commercial products out there to sell you in the label of selfcare/self love. Whereas its not wrong to pamper yourself with these products rather what I am bringing to your attention is LOVE your flaws, the scars from your past , your imperfections, change your toxic thoughts/beliefs that belongs to your past, accept your present wholeheartedly,embrace your body with unconditional acceptance,Honour your emotional,mental and physical needs and be the first person to provide all these to yourself with a loving-tender care.

I like to share here the little steps I took to fill my inner cup with the love it deserves while I am being in a loving relational commitment to my partner .

1.Appreciation : Appreciate yourself by looking at your eyes through mirror.yes,its called as mirror exercise that helps us build self-esteem though positive feedback . saying positive affirmations and writing it is also a way to appreciate ourselfs.

2. Pleasurable Morning: Make your Morning pleasurable by indulging in any of the soothing activity you love to do. It can be walking,dancing,cycling, gardening,singing or yoga etc I am not suggesting you a fitness routine. Primarily you should feel pleasurable and enjoy the activity that you do.

3. Innerchild meditation: This is a essential tool to keep our emotional health sane and healthy. In romantic relationship we often create the parent-child dynamic subconsciously .This will lead to over-expectations and conflict. The inner-child meditation is a guiding imaginary audio meditation(youtube: louise hay inner-child meditation) where you can relax and nurture the needs of your inner child. Evening and night time suits me best to do this.

4.Gratitude Journelling: Write down the things that you feel thankful in your day, with your partner and anything that you feel thankful.Adding this to your night-time routine will be a soul-food.

5. Hangout with your friends or solo date yourself once/twice a month atleast.

So ladies,Giving quality time for your interests and healing will directly have a positive influence on the quality time you spend together as a couples.